Stop press ...............

Bob from Cat Network News reporting

Who was that fat black and white cat who came through the cat door last night ?
More on this item once the detective agency is contacted .

Bob signing out.

Bob and Lizzy slug it out for mouse catcher of the year award.

Good evening Bob here from Cat Network News bringing you this exclusive report on the all-in cat fight for the Mouser of the Year Award (Sadly not an event at the Commonwealth Games recently held in Melbourne).

So far this week we have Lizzy with the 1am and 3am (Monday) mouse brought to the bathroom for consumption. My people timed this at 25 seconds for a head first scoff. Then there was the 7pm sneak in and scoff.

For myself I can post one catch and scoff , one “get outside with that thing” and one catch and release out the bathroom window and the words “run for your life little fella” (yeah right , well find you soon enough ….).

Updates as they come to hand .
This is Bob for Cat Network News

Lizzy and I on our way to Stuart at the Dairy Flat Vets for our annual jabs . We still don't know what they are (never felt a thing) but there was that pill and the throat rubbing. We saw a dog, a vacume cleaner and a LOT of cat food and I mean mountains of it ........ 

Here is the full action shot as captured by "my people" something about a 25 second exposure, which sounds more like being out in the sun too long .

Here I am Sunday night back to my old hunter killer games but do you think I can get the red spot, no. I've tried everything but the thing just escapes me and always there is that ....click....before it appears and just as it vanishes . Note the "who me ?" expression . 

Here is Lizzie sneaking up on Chris , note the claws, ready and extended, big question what happened next ?............................. 

But wait there is more .................did i hear the word "food" ? 

Ok so its not exactly in focus but here we are at high speed tearing up the lawn ... 

This is Randell or Dougal (as in the english TV show Father Ted) , Randell came before us but we wanted to post this in his memory . He went to that great cat place in the sky with "mice on a stick" three years ago .  

Bob returns from holiday .................

thank you thank you thank you to the cats of Ashton house for remembering our birthday.This years event (we are two) was a quiet matter with the delivery of two bags of our favorite cat treats . This was blessing as we had finished the Christmas collection although thankfully there has been a plentiful supply fo field nibbles and we still take these inside to eat , that is after we have chased them round the bedrooms a bit . We find the screaming that Reena does very funny, we can see she gets right into it . We have not yet been able to catch the mysterious "red dot", this has been a cause for concern as even when we are right on top of it we just don't seem to be able to catch it . Lizzy gets so into this that she starts wheezing after a while, Chris says she sounds azmatik or some thing. We have yet to find the home of the "red dot" but i have my suspicions and have an orange house with the address "plastik laza levil" or something on the side , I'm still learning to read you know.All i know is that the apperanace of the "red dot" happens about the same time as a faint click, more on this as the story unfolds . I'll get my people to post some new pictures .This is Bob back from holiday going off to have some dinner ....

Cattains log stardate 03082005

Received word from the Androminor galaxy that with the sun in Jupiter and the moon in its waning phase that the sparrows will be rising at precisely 0127hrs .

Formed catmitty with Catmmander Lizzie to discuss plan of attack .
Felt sudden urge to eat so adjourned for a snack.
Reconvened
Catmmander Lizzie (formally of the SAS) recommended optimum entry and exit points for commencement and termination of mission. Code name “catdoor” .
Another snack called for .
Reconvened but felt tired , snooze, snack, reconvened .
Momentarily forgot why we woke up.
Developed cunning route to sparrow repository with teams A and B converging from the north and south.
Snack , drink, poo.
Reconvened.
Forgot why I was here, sleep called for .
More later ……………………..

This is Cattain Bob , out

Ok and me sneaking up on something , could be a mouse ................ 

This is for Mia, a picture of me in a tree. 

Bob discusses the merits of nighttime hunting

Good evening Bob here from Cat Network News reporting from our documentary suite on the relative merits of night time hunting vrs the full frontal approach of the daytime snatch and grab.

Over the last few month Lizzy and I have been experimenting with what we describe as the all-day snooze , the early evening "schmooze" (resulting in food and hugs) , the all night prowl followed lastly by the early morning "shmooze".

Using a double blind , Gantt charted, critical path, cost controlled , standard deviation, marginalised sampling technique we have constructed a polynomial logarithmic equation which computes the body mass index in mice divided by the energy expenditure by cats required for the optimum filling of the inner food gathering and collecting receptacle in feline mammals. This has been further optimised using day lengths, time of year and the little known puke to eating ratio.
Obviously we can't go into full details here as this will be the subject of my Doctorial thesis but suffice to say move over Einstein there are some new formula’s on the block!
For a start and not withstanding the theory of relativity it is possible for cats to be in two places at once , otherwise how on earth could you explain that shredded rug done by “some other cat”?
Sorry I digress, the result of our experimentation which included Lizzy examining the baby fish in the pond at very close range was that on balance, taking all things into account, weighing up the pros and the cons , the fores and the againsts, the advantages and the disadvantages , the views of the “Save the mouse” Society and the need to not have the corner chewed out of every packet of food in the cupboard….. nighttime is the better time .
Or put simply E=MC2 where Evening =Mice X Cats Squared or put another way Evening divided by cats squared =mice , are you still with me ? (Chris says he’s calling the vet …..) and finally cats squared =mice divided by evening.
I rest my case.
I feel sick.

Bob signing out for Cat Network News

Lizzy trying hard but somehow lacking that killer look ................ 

Here I am letting Chris use me as a model , note the lion like expression I am working on. Cool, steely , aloof, a tensely coiled spring , ready to react in a micro second ....... yes

How I spent my easter Monday on the new blanket mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I'm so tired I could really use a nap............. 

Good afternoon , let me introduce myself I'm Sandicat from Inglewood , Taranaki, New Zealand .
I'll be joining the team at Cat Network News and reporting periodically from Inglewood .
I'm nine years old and am a rescue cat from the local vet .
I have, on a whim just recently decided not to savage strangers or even not so strangers .
I let Chris pat me over the weekend , he must have forgotten our last "encounter" , owwwwwwwwww I wanted to rip his arm off but I thought, we'll let it go this time .
And Hey what do you know I get a pencil and I'm a reporter, I see the possibilities now , why did somebody not explain this sooner ?
I must discuss obvious gaps in my early instructions with the other cat in the house , Leo, he's a lot bigger than me, has a lead and gets to go in the car. Apparently, well according to him he's a Golden Retriever Cat .

Off on a mission ..................